The Final Crack

Go ahead, abandon me
for loving that which should not be
as I lack, and I await
the final crack to complete the break
a heart not needed anymore
fragmented, bleeding on the floor.

No Longer Human

I know how I should feel
and its probably heartbroken
but I am so numb from whats real
theres no words to be spoken

I probably should be lonely
I probably should be hurt
while everyone is phony
I reside where truth lurks

Right back to the start
of where I was before
the destination thwart
a soul too tired and worn

Self Saboteur

Once again I subject myself to the neglect
and the same heartache Ive come to expect
breaking my neck
for the same outcome as before

Self saboteur

The Worn Half

I am not complacent
I guess I will never be
but will keep on fighting
for all that I believe
Until I obtain it
or evolve past the need

I will scale the end-pass
I will find a way
the hunger seems to last
the love still brings dismay
but I will not let this shake me
it wont hinder my step

I'll take what I am given
and use until nothing is left

I always find it saddening
yet painfully true
I do not do this for me
I do it all for you

The Winners Circle

Believe that you suceeded
but I am not defeated
I have only seceded
from the games that left me cheated
I lay down my sword
step up for your reward
tell your side of the story
bask in all its glory
revel in your victory
of triumphant supremacy
but I gained more in losing
than you did in winning

There is no return to the beginning
  once the Devils has done his bidding

I have become jaded to the feelings that once inspired me
the laughs and the tears become more infrequent
todays world seems to have a way of robbing a man of them before his time
living in a society that rewards apathy, and ignorance
the fools are so full of themselves and certain
and the wise so full of doubt
ohh the mindless cocksure robotic populace
I lay my hopes and dreams at their feet to trample
our forefathers most certainly could not have been this docile
as we sit around waiting for the great fight that never comes
maybe its just that time and knowledge make you realize its all bullshit
especially love. . .
and when the strongest of emotions become so weak, everything else seems miniscule
or maybe its just me. . .

trying to figure out if I'm insane, or if the world that engulfs me is.

Last Legs

Throw the children to the fire again
and leave them to burn for all of our sins

twisting inside this wicked web we spin
a war waged against ourselves that we cant win

Torn from the chest and laid to rest
just save your breath because there is nothing left

as it wears thin
the tearing begins

something we cant evade
standing on our last legs

We live and we learn
burdened by the burn
in search of an innocence
that knows no return

It seems feelings fade
on our journey to the grave
seeking to be saved
from our forefathers reign


as it wears thin
the tearing begins


something we cant evade
standing on our last legs


I am, too numb to, succumb to, this anymore
I have, become too, miniscule, to watch the score

I am, the one who, was left blue, beaten and sore

I have, become you, ignored truth, another whore

Happy New Year. Semi-not-so-much-trying-to-be-my-usual-rants.

    Well. . . fuckit. . . here goes my end of the year statement. . . its been a crazy one, full of hardship all around, locally, nationally, and globally. . . I dont need to touch on our losses too much, but its helped me to come closer to my appreciation of my true loves, My family, my friends, and those who have played a part in my own spiritual evolution.
     I think those of you that matter to me have noticed I've been around a little bit more than I usually am. Last but not least it helps me to get out there and make music again.  I need that, and I haven't been writing or playing much which kinda bums me out.
    Maybe a ot of my friends are going through new stages in life and it has me thinking, or maybe it is the loss of multiple loved ones too soon this year, I don't know. . . maybe I even feel stagnant, even though I'm progressively getting better considering I've cut down drastically on my vices. . . not entirely mind you, but I'm doing more than just talking about it at least.
    Loss only brings me closer to these things. It is an unfourtunate way of functioning, but I think this is just the way all energy flows according to the whims of the great magnet. Anyway, I digress. . .  things are changing. A collective mind is at our fingertips, we are at a cataclysmic point in which we can choose to stay the same or evolve. I say we choose the latter. Open your mind a little, don't be afraid, your brain will not fall out in the process, I promise!
   Think about it, a revolution is actually happening. . . it is everywhere, Libya, London, Egypt, and even at home in Oakland, DC, New York, with the occupy movement. . it is world wide, you can watch it in the comfort of your own home. . . I mean, don't you find that astronomically amazing and scary at the same time?
  Hell even our entire planet is changing, magnetic poles are shifting, ice melting, and climate change debate. Even with all that do I see that as the end of the world? HELL NO. .. end of times maybe. . . but a much needed change in what decides the fate of our species. I think its time to let go of our old standards and ways of thinking in order to advance more quickly in a positive direction.

 Im going to make the best I can be out of 2012, what are you going to make of it?

They want it all

you can give your blood sweat and tears
and they will want more
you can give your mind body and soul
and they will still want more
you can bend over backwards until you break
you can give the last piece of your broken heart
and they will want it all
I say give it to them
you will find parts of yourself you never knew existed.

Hard To Say

At least I put it out there
at least I tried my best
it was nothing less
than ripping my heart from my chest
but my feelings were expressed
and done without regret
there is nothing I can do
to change the source of your neglect.