Partial
truths
trickle
through
the
tiny
cracks
in
my
exterior
but
never
enough
to
reveal
the
interior
whole
inferior
soul
who
can not
let
the
complete
truth
go
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The Motions of Emotion
If you have ever cried your tear ducts drier than a desert river bed
If your anger has burned hotter than the sun
If rage has exploded from you like a volcano
If melancholy has shown you the deepest shades of gray
If love has ever shattered you like glass
If shame has dragged you to the lowest of depths
If fear has gripped you like the icy hand of death
If sorrow has ran through you like electric current
If frustration has tied you tighter than the gordian knot
congratulations, you are human
If your anger has burned hotter than the sun
If rage has exploded from you like a volcano
If melancholy has shown you the deepest shades of gray
If love has ever shattered you like glass
If shame has dragged you to the lowest of depths
If fear has gripped you like the icy hand of death
If sorrow has ran through you like electric current
If frustration has tied you tighter than the gordian knot
congratulations, you are human
This Story
Every story has its end
but this book I can not close
attached to the character
marked by dog ear folds
the plot lines circle in my head
unwritten novel, that goes unread
I can recite this story blind
I think about it all the time
Destined for failure
thats unspoken but known
keeping composure
but fearing what is shown
Drama and adventure
Romance and tragedy
Fable and fantasy
A story of the ages
with foes and friends
everything in these pages
except for an end
but this book I can not close
attached to the character
marked by dog ear folds
the plot lines circle in my head
unwritten novel, that goes unread
I can recite this story blind
I think about it all the time
Destined for failure
thats unspoken but known
keeping composure
but fearing what is shown
Drama and adventure
Romance and tragedy
Fable and fantasy
A story of the ages
with foes and friends
everything in these pages
except for an end
Forgotten
I am nothing
but the footprints
I leave in the snow
the knuckle marks
I leave in the wall
the plow will come tomorrow
and one day the handyman
will patch up the walls
then I will be forgotten
just like so many others
trying to leave their mark.
but the footprints
I leave in the snow
the knuckle marks
I leave in the wall
the plow will come tomorrow
and one day the handyman
will patch up the walls
then I will be forgotten
just like so many others
trying to leave their mark.
Only Myself
The only one who can hurt me
is myself
and i have done that better
than anyone else
no need to try
these eyes will not cry
from ears that allways hear
all of the goodbyes
warrior of solitude
soldier of seclusion
trainded by the years of
lies and illusions.
Tempered from pain
hardened and untamed
I arise from the flame
only to hurt myself
once again.
is myself
and i have done that better
than anyone else
no need to try
these eyes will not cry
from ears that allways hear
all of the goodbyes
warrior of solitude
soldier of seclusion
trainded by the years of
lies and illusions.
Tempered from pain
hardened and untamed
I arise from the flame
only to hurt myself
once again.
Texts
Reading these minds
I see nothing
but a library of tears
archives of hurt
aisles of fictional happiness
books with empty pages
I dig
and search
for specks of truth
paragraphs of enlightenment
words of wisdom
but the truth remains untold
and the mysteries remain
I see nothing
but a library of tears
archives of hurt
aisles of fictional happiness
books with empty pages
I dig
and search
for specks of truth
paragraphs of enlightenment
words of wisdom
but the truth remains untold
and the mysteries remain
Flesh and Paper
Money is made of paper
hearts are made of flesh
some they pursue both
some they like one best
but Im not even close
for its both that I detest
money the root of evil
the heart a root to love
money made by people
hearts by the gods above
some only love the money
some try to buy the love
the two they divide each other
the two they push and shove
the biggest pains Ive felt
is in my pockets and my chest
detest the hearts and money
flesh and paper I detest
hearts are made of flesh
some they pursue both
some they like one best
but Im not even close
for its both that I detest
money the root of evil
the heart a root to love
money made by people
hearts by the gods above
some only love the money
some try to buy the love
the two they divide each other
the two they push and shove
the biggest pains Ive felt
is in my pockets and my chest
detest the hearts and money
flesh and paper I detest
Imperfect Beauty
I think theyre good
it shows that pain is somewhat understood
I like scars
I think theyre great
it means you do not hesitate
I dont mind scars
across the face
upon the knees
or any place
I think that scars build character
and share them in the name of laughter
scars Ive had many
but not one broken bone
surprisingly funny
being accident prone
maybe a few fractures
a couple lips split
but that is a factor
being centered in pits
but Ive been haunted now-a-days
fights as-of-late, undaunted and unfazed
I am not one to compete
but everyone deserves to get their ass-beat
If I saw any girl naked
I dont care who they are
Id find it bizarre
if you had not one scar.
The Struggles of Juggling
If you dont like the way Im living
why do you keep on coming back?
I didnt ask to be forgiven
for not supplying what you lack
Now Im struggling to juggle
shuffling too many balls
Instead of choosing which ones will fall
I wait until I drop them all
I want to believe what your saying
but its hard with how you act
With all the games that weve been playing
what is fiction what is fact?
Now Im struggling to juggle
shuffling too many balls
Instead of choosing which ones will fall
I wait until I drop them all
Youve been a best friend for so long
That I cant love you that way
Both of us are way too head strong
and I cant let this go astray
Now Im struggling to juggle
shuffling too many balls
Instead of choosing which ones will fall
I wait until I drop them all
Havent seen your face forever
hard to believe that it is true
Once failed at being together
now Im lying here with you
Now Im struggling to juggle
shuffling too many balls
Instead of choosing which ones will fall
I wait until I drop them all
why do you keep on coming back?
I didnt ask to be forgiven
for not supplying what you lack
Now Im struggling to juggle
shuffling too many balls
Instead of choosing which ones will fall
I wait until I drop them all
I want to believe what your saying
but its hard with how you act
With all the games that weve been playing
what is fiction what is fact?
Now Im struggling to juggle
shuffling too many balls
Instead of choosing which ones will fall
I wait until I drop them all
Youve been a best friend for so long
That I cant love you that way
Both of us are way too head strong
and I cant let this go astray
Now Im struggling to juggle
shuffling too many balls
Instead of choosing which ones will fall
I wait until I drop them all
Havent seen your face forever
hard to believe that it is true
Once failed at being together
now Im lying here with you
Now Im struggling to juggle
shuffling too many balls
Instead of choosing which ones will fall
I wait until I drop them all
Gold Digger
You are slaves to the world
put on your make-up and dance
Put on a pretty dress girls
it will help you advance
hitch a rich man
stick to the plan
disguised romance
where love has no chance
Break any heart along the way
to get what you want
things come easily to they
who have beauty to flaunt
Yet nothing last forever
one day you may not have
when you are an old hag
who never found her other half
One day youll look back
and say "Where did I fall?"
youll realize that you lost track
when you tried to have it all
Take anything you want from him
laugh your way up to the store
since you sold yourself as a whore
you obviously need it more
put on your make-up and dance
Put on a pretty dress girls
it will help you advance
hitch a rich man
stick to the plan
disguised romance
where love has no chance
Break any heart along the way
to get what you want
things come easily to they
who have beauty to flaunt
Yet nothing last forever
one day you may not have
when you are an old hag
who never found her other half
One day youll look back
and say "Where did I fall?"
youll realize that you lost track
when you tried to have it all
Take anything you want from him
laugh your way up to the store
since you sold yourself as a whore
you obviously need it more
Earlier Days
n earlier days
items or articles of clothing
left by girls
were like trophies of conquest
a deer plaque on the wall
some left them to come back
some just couldnt find them in the morning
some I wanted to come back
some I didnt
some came back
some didnt
but now
they just remind me Im older
and one day
this smile will not shine as much
this twinkle in my eye will not be as bright
and these spontaneous remarks
will not be as spontaneous
and this shit cant go on forever
nor do I want it to
and soon
there will be no items
or articles of clothing
to remind me at all
and all I will have
is those earlier days
items or articles of clothing
left by girls
were like trophies of conquest
a deer plaque on the wall
some left them to come back
some just couldnt find them in the morning
some I wanted to come back
some I didnt
some came back
some didnt
but now
they just remind me Im older
and one day
this smile will not shine as much
this twinkle in my eye will not be as bright
and these spontaneous remarks
will not be as spontaneous
and this shit cant go on forever
nor do I want it to
and soon
there will be no items
or articles of clothing
to remind me at all
and all I will have
is those earlier days
Are You Alive?
hatred out ruled circumstance?
Is there peace without freedom?
Can a free spirit be imprisoned?
Have you followed your heart into the darkness?
Have you sailed the deep seas of the unknown mind?
Have you looked outside yourself?
have you looked inside?
Have you cared for the uncaring?
Have you sank to new lows?
Have you flew to new highs?
Have you faced your fears?
Have you sacrificed happiness?
Have you destroyed?
Have you created?
Have you felt?
Have you experienced?
Have you flourished?
Have you withered?
Have you concealed a secret?
Have you exposed one?
Have you over stepped limits?
Have you pushed boundaries?
Have you been tested?
Have you been confused?
Are you sleeping?
Are you awake?
Have you dreamed?
Would you die for someone?
Would someone die for you?
Have you lived?
Have you died?
Are you alive?
Is there peace without freedom?
Can a free spirit be imprisoned?
Have you followed your heart into the darkness?
Have you sailed the deep seas of the unknown mind?
Have you looked outside yourself?
have you looked inside?
Have you cared for the uncaring?
Have you sank to new lows?
Have you flew to new highs?
Have you faced your fears?
Have you sacrificed happiness?
Have you destroyed?
Have you created?
Have you felt?
Have you experienced?
Have you flourished?
Have you withered?
Have you concealed a secret?
Have you exposed one?
Have you over stepped limits?
Have you pushed boundaries?
Have you been tested?
Have you been confused?
Are you sleeping?
Are you awake?
Have you dreamed?
Would you die for someone?
Would someone die for you?
Have you lived?
Have you died?
Are you alive?
Time
They glide so smooth
through my fingertips
The seasons move
I lose my grip
I think that I am well equipped
to turn hours into minutes
Its just another day slipping away
why cling to what is not meant to stay
Its just another day of memories
that I let pass so foolishly
Another bruise
I bite my lip
Another ruse
another quip
another goodbye kiss
for another ship Ive missed
Its just another day slipping away
why cling to what is not meant to stay
Its just another day of memories
that I let pass so foolishly
Another moment came and went
another sentence thats been spent
In this self imprisonment
of what I would rather forget
the hands of time
do not exist
no hands can hold
or make time quit
through my fingertips
The seasons move
I lose my grip
I think that I am well equipped
to turn hours into minutes
Its just another day slipping away
why cling to what is not meant to stay
Its just another day of memories
that I let pass so foolishly
Another bruise
I bite my lip
Another ruse
another quip
another goodbye kiss
for another ship Ive missed
Its just another day slipping away
why cling to what is not meant to stay
Its just another day of memories
that I let pass so foolishly
Another moment came and went
another sentence thats been spent
In this self imprisonment
of what I would rather forget
the hands of time
do not exist
no hands can hold
or make time quit
Exhausted
Im just tired
sick and tired
Im tired of nothing
Im tired of everything
Im tired of being desensitized
Im tired of comfortability in oblivion
Im tired of picking up after others.
when I have my own messes.
Im tired of never going out, and staying closed here
so I can barely pay for the house I live in.
Im tired of going places, and not being able to afford it
Im tired of being billed, for necessary human commodities
like life, warmth, water, and food, owned by overbearing, power hungry, elitists.
Im tired of people scoffing at me, when their morality is more twisted than mine.
Im tired of the judgmental , who own no finger of damnation to point
Im tired of being told how to think, by plastic people, through an artificial eye.
Im tired of forever paying near fifteen percent for something I bought on my credit card, which only broke shortly after, and I never really needed in the first place.
Im tired of working my life away, handing out my earnings
to people who never lifted a finger in their lives
Im tired of being lead by religions that are the junk science of spirituality
Im tired of pretty faces that expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter
when their personalities dont even deserve a plastic one.
Im tired of being made to feel guilty for the actions of my ancestors
because the color of my skin is white, and I dont even own myself.
Im tired of giving to middlemen, and corporations, with state and federal tax.
specially on the liquor, beer, and cigarettes.
which I use to escape the society they built
Id rather buy a half ounce of marijuana from a drug dealer on the black market
than give another dollar to a public service that serves the rich minority.
Im tired of being scared, of all the fears that they monger
Im tired of the worship of celebrity lives,
that are more dysfunctional than the majority
yet still most want to be like them.
Im tired of ignorance, lack of knowledge, and unwillingness to learn
Im tired of ignoring my dreams, thoughts, and feelings
plus all I impose on myself., because I am too afraid to share them
Im tired of being lied to, because others worry what pain the truth brings
Im tired of compassionate deceit, instead of brutal honesty
Im tired of living in an age where questioning anything is rebellion
Im tired of people saying I love you, about as easily as they say hello
Im tired of people who say "and like" and "you know" in every sentence
neither groups of people know what the fuck they are talking about.
Im tired of love being just a word, and not a feeling.
Im tired of paying over 3 dollars a gallon, to get somewhere they need me to go.
Im tired of seeing a jungle of concrete and weeds.
Im tired of seeing not a thing, and everything at the same time.
Im tired of people reading over my back
im tired of comfortability in oblivion
Im tired of being desensitized
Im tired of everything
Im tired of nothing
sick and tired
Im just tired
sick and tired
Im tired of nothing
Im tired of everything
Im tired of being desensitized
Im tired of comfortability in oblivion
Im tired of picking up after others.
when I have my own messes.
Im tired of never going out, and staying closed here
so I can barely pay for the house I live in.
Im tired of going places, and not being able to afford it
Im tired of being billed, for necessary human commodities
like life, warmth, water, and food, owned by overbearing, power hungry, elitists.
Im tired of people scoffing at me, when their morality is more twisted than mine.
Im tired of the judgmental , who own no finger of damnation to point
Im tired of being told how to think, by plastic people, through an artificial eye.
Im tired of forever paying near fifteen percent for something I bought on my credit card, which only broke shortly after, and I never really needed in the first place.
Im tired of working my life away, handing out my earnings
to people who never lifted a finger in their lives
Im tired of being lead by religions that are the junk science of spirituality
Im tired of pretty faces that expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter
when their personalities dont even deserve a plastic one.
Im tired of being made to feel guilty for the actions of my ancestors
because the color of my skin is white, and I dont even own myself.
Im tired of giving to middlemen, and corporations, with state and federal tax.
specially on the liquor, beer, and cigarettes.
which I use to escape the society they built
Id rather buy a half ounce of marijuana from a drug dealer on the black market
than give another dollar to a public service that serves the rich minority.
Im tired of being scared, of all the fears that they monger
Im tired of the worship of celebrity lives,
that are more dysfunctional than the majority
yet still most want to be like them.
Im tired of ignorance, lack of knowledge, and unwillingness to learn
Im tired of ignoring my dreams, thoughts, and feelings
plus all I impose on myself., because I am too afraid to share them
Im tired of being lied to, because others worry what pain the truth brings
Im tired of compassionate deceit, instead of brutal honesty
Im tired of living in an age where questioning anything is rebellion
Im tired of people saying I love you, about as easily as they say hello
Im tired of people who say "and like" and "you know" in every sentence
neither groups of people know what the fuck they are talking about.
Im tired of love being just a word, and not a feeling.
Im tired of paying over 3 dollars a gallon, to get somewhere they need me to go.
Im tired of seeing a jungle of concrete and weeds.
Im tired of seeing not a thing, and everything at the same time.
Im tired of people reading over my back
im tired of comfortability in oblivion
Im tired of being desensitized
Im tired of everything
Im tired of nothing
sick and tired
Im just tired
Rear View
If my poetry is shit
at least it is my shit
these poets of pretentiousness
with their holier than thou stance
poised in their own greatness
who think big emotion
is only found in big words
when its the little words
in between
that are easily understood
my short stark words
are no more shallow
than your elegant sentences
both have the ability
to reach just as deep
it just depends on who
Im fine with reaching just myself
these empty bottles,
tray of stems and seeds,
and overflowing ash tray,
they are fine enough listeners for me
the big picture
is not allways painted
with grandeur
but simplicity
If you believe
every comma,
every apostrophe,
every semi colon,
makes you superior
then that is a target audience you can keep
I know who I am trying to reach
at least it is my shit
these poets of pretentiousness
with their holier than thou stance
poised in their own greatness
who think big emotion
is only found in big words
when its the little words
in between
that are easily understood
my short stark words
are no more shallow
than your elegant sentences
both have the ability
to reach just as deep
it just depends on who
Im fine with reaching just myself
these empty bottles,
tray of stems and seeds,
and overflowing ash tray,
they are fine enough listeners for me
the big picture
is not allways painted
with grandeur
but simplicity
If you believe
every comma,
every apostrophe,
every semi colon,
makes you superior
then that is a target audience you can keep
I know who I am trying to reach
Bleed Like Me
Its a barrel on the tongue
a rope around the neck
pull the trigger
take the leap
wait for what is next
Its becoming sustenance
suicide by increments
the more it grows, the worse it gets
walking hand in hand with death
Its a razor to the wrist
water in the lungs
make the cut
take the plunge
let thy will be done
Its becoming evident
wounds showing the discontent
the more it grows, the worse it gets
as I lie here and bleed to death
This I hide
so you dont see
What is inside
and bleed like me
a rope around the neck
pull the trigger
take the leap
wait for what is next
Its becoming sustenance
suicide by increments
the more it grows, the worse it gets
walking hand in hand with death
Its a razor to the wrist
water in the lungs
make the cut
take the plunge
let thy will be done
Its becoming evident
wounds showing the discontent
the more it grows, the worse it gets
as I lie here and bleed to death
This I hide
so you dont see
What is inside
and bleed like me
Unwanted
I am the hurt that you can't ignore,
dilemas you do not wish to explore
I am the feelings you can not shake,
the flashy white smile you know is fake.
I'm the tale of a broken heart - sailing through a shattered mind
I am the endless search - for the things you can not find
I am all of the times - you wish you could rewind.
I am the light that shines - only to leave you blind.
I'm the anger you try not to feed
I am the task you can not succeed
I am the garden thats full of weeds
I am the opening wound that bleeds
I'm the tale of a broken heart - sailing through a shattered mind
I am the endless search - for the things you can not find
I am all of the times - you wish you could rewind.
I am the light that shines - only to leave you blind.
I am the lies that you thought were true.
I am the ties that are binding you.
I am the aroma of decay
I am the trash that you throw away.
I am the unwanted.
dilemas you do not wish to explore
I am the feelings you can not shake,
the flashy white smile you know is fake.
I'm the tale of a broken heart - sailing through a shattered mind
I am the endless search - for the things you can not find
I am all of the times - you wish you could rewind.
I am the light that shines - only to leave you blind.
I'm the anger you try not to feed
I am the task you can not succeed
I am the garden thats full of weeds
I am the opening wound that bleeds
I'm the tale of a broken heart - sailing through a shattered mind
I am the endless search - for the things you can not find
I am all of the times - you wish you could rewind.
I am the light that shines - only to leave you blind.
I am the lies that you thought were true.
I am the ties that are binding you.
I am the aroma of decay
I am the trash that you throw away.
I am the unwanted.
Rubbish Soup
Global warming
famine
smog
war,
fascism
poverty
*flash*
polar ice melting
holes in the ozone
plastic waste pools in the seas
disease
degradation
genocide
*flash*
ignorance
environmental endangerment
unaccountable politicians and corporations
futureless endeavors
resources dwindling
greed
*flash*
consumerism
floods
earthquakes,
tornadoes
taxation without representation.
death. . .
Growing,
all being seen live
in a nice little package
by you, on the couch,
distracted
desensitized
In front of your TV
while you stuff your fucking face with garbage.
famine
smog
war,
fascism
poverty
*flash*
polar ice melting
holes in the ozone
plastic waste pools in the seas
disease
degradation
genocide
*flash*
ignorance
environmental endangerment
unaccountable politicians and corporations
futureless endeavors
resources dwindling
greed
*flash*
consumerism
floods
earthquakes,
tornadoes
taxation without representation.
death. . .
Growing,
all being seen live
in a nice little package
by you, on the couch,
distracted
desensitized
In front of your TV
while you stuff your fucking face with garbage.
Failed To See
Failed to see
the beauty and the majesty
it used to be
the starlight shining on the canopy
so magically
Failed to see
the day when arms still opened to me lovingly
so honestly
the time we looked upon each other equally
so loyally
Failed to see
the moments that we had when we were worry free
so tragically
the future that I looked upon so clearly seen
where did it flee?
Failed to see
what came and went, remaining just a memory
on a tally sheet
when I was not considered a liability
in search of peace
Now I see
who I am
and what made me
accept defeat
yet kick the dust off from my feet
and become more hardened
battle ready.
the beauty and the majesty
it used to be
the starlight shining on the canopy
so magically
Failed to see
the day when arms still opened to me lovingly
so honestly
the time we looked upon each other equally
so loyally
Failed to see
the moments that we had when we were worry free
so tragically
the future that I looked upon so clearly seen
where did it flee?
Failed to see
what came and went, remaining just a memory
on a tally sheet
when I was not considered a liability
in search of peace
Now I see
who I am
and what made me
accept defeat
yet kick the dust off from my feet
and become more hardened
battle ready.
A Fleeting Feeling
Further and further, it withdraws
harder and harder, to recall
Less and less, it has been missed
I wonder and wonder, if it still exists.
I guess some things are transient
how they can vanish so quick
Is it gone?
Has it faded
or have I only become jaded?
to the way I used to feel
a heart of steel seems more ideal.
harder and harder, to recall
Less and less, it has been missed
I wonder and wonder, if it still exists.
I guess some things are transient
how they can vanish so quick
Is it gone?
Has it faded
or have I only become jaded?
to the way I used to feel
a heart of steel seems more ideal.
Inside a Dream
I tried to shake you
tried to wake you
but you chose to sleep
lie with closed eyes
you are still alive
I can hear you breathe.
Waking nightmares
chase me everywhere
is this reality?
I hope and pray
I am awake
not inside a dream.
tried to wake you
but you chose to sleep
lie with closed eyes
you are still alive
I can hear you breathe.
Waking nightmares
chase me everywhere
is this reality?
I hope and pray
I am awake
not inside a dream.
Emotional Leech
Emotional leech
do not sink your teeth
my blood will poison you
Beyond reach
too far beneath
I have become immune
Do not cling
I wont be host
to your parasitic ways
Know one thing
Im unlike most
statistics of your praise
Carnivore
bleed me more
take with no return
Prod and bore
reach the core
where memories still burn
Make me bleed
just for your needs
I still remain alive
Still you feed
but wont succeed
maintaining what is mine
Extortioner
I wont concur
you will never bind
My feeling stir
but still defer
the thieves which steal my time
Will not transfer
what you prefer
no belief in your kind
do not sink your teeth
my blood will poison you
Beyond reach
too far beneath
I have become immune
Do not cling
I wont be host
to your parasitic ways
Know one thing
Im unlike most
statistics of your praise
Carnivore
bleed me more
take with no return
Prod and bore
reach the core
where memories still burn
Make me bleed
just for your needs
I still remain alive
Still you feed
but wont succeed
maintaining what is mine
Extortioner
I wont concur
you will never bind
My feeling stir
but still defer
the thieves which steal my time
Will not transfer
what you prefer
no belief in your kind
Reprisal
ignore when we see
all of the travesty and tragedy
impending upon you and me
yes you and me
Waiting for a savior to come
but two thousand years have passed
and still no one
still no one
we have to break the chains
and rearrange
to try and change
all that which is deranged
that which is deranged
Painting pictures on the wall
where the writing used to be
if you want to see it all
you will have to look beneath
If you want to make a stand
be prepared to take a fall
are you hindered by their plans
are you caught up in their thralls?
Pathetic
Who is more pathetic
is it me or you
Whos more apathetic
whos lacking the truth
Should I refuse surrender
should I still persist
lost becomes the splendors
caught up in the midst
Should it be remembered
or destined to be forgotten
who is the pretender
who is the downtrodden
maybe it is both
maybe that is why
What once seemed so close
no longer applies
and so I make a toast
to everything thats died
What really matters most
is that Ive opened up my eyes
I will not be host
to your four letter lies
If that is what I choose
the pathetic one is I
is it me or you
Whos more apathetic
whos lacking the truth
Should I refuse surrender
should I still persist
lost becomes the splendors
caught up in the midst
Should it be remembered
or destined to be forgotten
who is the pretender
who is the downtrodden
maybe it is both
maybe that is why
What once seemed so close
no longer applies
and so I make a toast
to everything thats died
What really matters most
is that Ive opened up my eyes
I will not be host
to your four letter lies
If that is what I choose
the pathetic one is I
Too Many Times
Ive died too many times
inside these words and lines
Does it make you feel alive
do these cries give you pride
whenever they reach your eyes?
for every single try
for every reason why
the sacrifice was mine
but it is your demise
maybe not in flesh
maybe not in bone
maybe not in mind
but in the heart and soul
inside these words and lines
Does it make you feel alive
do these cries give you pride
whenever they reach your eyes?
for every single try
for every reason why
the sacrifice was mine
but it is your demise
maybe not in flesh
maybe not in bone
maybe not in mind
but in the heart and soul
The Poet I Am, The Poet Im Not
You dont have to tell me
that I am no Bukowski
but I've used cynicism
as symbolism of life's beauty
No greater whims
than Morrison
but seen the same
altered states as him
I already know
that I am no Poe
but I have shown
similar morose
No need to accost
I know I'm no Frost
but on the unbeaten path
I have been across
I am no Plath or Dickinson
but been with women
just like them
I will not elude
that I am no Neruda
but I have been forgotten
along the shores before
No need for judging
I know I'm no Cummings
but carried with me
hearts just as stunning
Will not tell you how
I am no Wilde
but practiced prose
in his witty style
and even though I'm none of these
I know I can be anything
like other
self thinking
human beings
Some may dance
some may sing
We all just do it differently
that I am no Bukowski
but I've used cynicism
as symbolism of life's beauty
No greater whims
than Morrison
but seen the same
altered states as him
I already know
that I am no Poe
but I have shown
similar morose
No need to accost
I know I'm no Frost
but on the unbeaten path
I have been across
I am no Plath or Dickinson
but been with women
just like them
I will not elude
that I am no Neruda
but I have been forgotten
along the shores before
No need for judging
I know I'm no Cummings
but carried with me
hearts just as stunning
Will not tell you how
I am no Wilde
but practiced prose
in his witty style
and even though I'm none of these
I know I can be anything
like other
self thinking
human beings
Some may dance
some may sing
We all just do it differently
At My Cluttered Desk
Reclined in my chair
feet in the air
Red Stripe in my hand
acoustic guitar by my side
a roof over my head
gas, electric, water,
and most importantly internet. . .
all up an running, surprisingly
looking around my cluttered desk
of full ash trays
empty cigarette packs
and bottle caps
crumpled papers
full of hopes and retrospections
where most of my "work" is done
a Pablo Neruda book in my lap
bought from the library store down the street
the bilingual edition
I notice how eloquently
the native language rolls along
compared to the translation
"Ya no lo quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.
Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido."
and thats pretty fucking deep
with a mean looking pit bull on the armrest
but not quite as mean as he looks
a pretty bird nested on my couch
pumping 30 gigs of music
off a sweet ass computer
to a bad ass pair of headphones
that drowns out her voice. . . .
life is sweet.
sometimes.
feet in the air
Red Stripe in my hand
acoustic guitar by my side
a roof over my head
gas, electric, water,
and most importantly internet. . .
all up an running, surprisingly
looking around my cluttered desk
of full ash trays
empty cigarette packs
and bottle caps
crumpled papers
full of hopes and retrospections
where most of my "work" is done
a Pablo Neruda book in my lap
bought from the library store down the street
the bilingual edition
I notice how eloquently
the native language rolls along
compared to the translation
"Ya no lo quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.
Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido."
and thats pretty fucking deep
with a mean looking pit bull on the armrest
but not quite as mean as he looks
a pretty bird nested on my couch
pumping 30 gigs of music
off a sweet ass computer
to a bad ass pair of headphones
that drowns out her voice. . . .
life is sweet.
sometimes.
Apathetic Slumber
This season of my discontent
listlessness
irrelevance
overcast and sunless
Their sentences are gibberish
I learned how to not listen
no cares for their acceptance
or how they envision
nothing really matters much
I have become numb to their touch
too weary to fake a smile
or force myself to converse
too tired of being in denial
which only makes it worse
holding my breath for quite awhile
till I'm blue in the face
I don't want to move
I just want to sleep
how am I to soothe
these memories I reap
smoke
drink
eat
sleep
fuck it away
broke
weak
cheap
sheep
stuck in the fray
buy
mine
ohh
my
make sure you save
bye
bye
buy
die
and purchase a grave
I know I have been adamant
bullheaded and insubordinate
but have I been too rebellious
and perversely disobedient ?
I thought that I was standing tall
but learned pride comes before the fall
I'm too proud to give-out
too stubborn to give-in
I will not follow sorrow
I fight until the bitter end
Everybody has two sides
but only one shows at a time
Fighting a world of depression
and I intend to win
I trust my own discretion
these eyes will shine again
Its time to awaken
from this apathetic slumber
Where we are dreamily mistaken
I'll get up, before go under
listlessness
irrelevance
overcast and sunless
Their sentences are gibberish
I learned how to not listen
no cares for their acceptance
or how they envision
nothing really matters much
I have become numb to their touch
too weary to fake a smile
or force myself to converse
too tired of being in denial
which only makes it worse
holding my breath for quite awhile
till I'm blue in the face
I don't want to move
I just want to sleep
how am I to soothe
these memories I reap
smoke
drink
eat
sleep
fuck it away
broke
weak
cheap
sheep
stuck in the fray
buy
mine
ohh
my
make sure you save
bye
bye
buy
die
and purchase a grave
I know I have been adamant
bullheaded and insubordinate
but have I been too rebellious
and perversely disobedient ?
I thought that I was standing tall
but learned pride comes before the fall
I'm too proud to give-out
too stubborn to give-in
I will not follow sorrow
I fight until the bitter end
Everybody has two sides
but only one shows at a time
Fighting a world of depression
and I intend to win
I trust my own discretion
these eyes will shine again
Its time to awaken
from this apathetic slumber
Where we are dreamily mistaken
I'll get up, before go under
Desperate Disposition
Contesting sunshine
this darkness is yours and mine
We know the daylight leads
us somewhere we dont want to be
close the shades
lie in the bed you made
one foot in the mouth
one foot in the grave
a perishable past
breeds a faltering future
that will not last
uncertain closure
cherishing seconds
in decades of degradation
It barely seems the same
though I have rarely changed
different faces
different names
same old fucking game
I am no valiant prince
Im no shining white knight
we can ride into the sunset
but it just might be tonight
this darkness is yours and mine
We know the daylight leads
us somewhere we dont want to be
close the shades
lie in the bed you made
one foot in the mouth
one foot in the grave
a perishable past
breeds a faltering future
that will not last
uncertain closure
cherishing seconds
in decades of degradation
It barely seems the same
though I have rarely changed
different faces
different names
same old fucking game
I am no valiant prince
Im no shining white knight
we can ride into the sunset
but it just might be tonight
Bitten
Bitten
I'm bitten
the poison
is under my skin
I'm bitten
the venom
is coursing within
I'm bitten
the toxin
is doing me in
I'm bitten
and hoping
it happens again
Your choking
You've bitten
more than you can chew
you must be forgetting
I'm poisonous too
The prey became hunter
I'm poisoning you
I'm bitten
the poison
is under my skin
I'm bitten
the venom
is coursing within
I'm bitten
the toxin
is doing me in
I'm bitten
and hoping
it happens again
Your choking
You've bitten
more than you can chew
you must be forgetting
I'm poisonous too
The prey became hunter
I'm poisoning you
Jaded to the Strange
Lying fetal on the cold tile floor
in my cum encrusted boxer shorts
a substance that resembles shit
in my fingernails
blood spots the bed
empty whiskey bottles
and spent condoms
mark the memories
of posturing passions
out of meaningless sex
another cum dumpster
another ejaculate receptacle
another whore
sitting with legs open
awaiting the next cock
to stick their gaping cunts
in attempts to fill the void in their souls
unlike the days of old
when my torso was your pillow
and the arms of your glistening body
kept me warmer than these lonesome sheets
jaded to the strange
the new is all the same
they all are just the same
they all are just the same
in my cum encrusted boxer shorts
a substance that resembles shit
in my fingernails
blood spots the bed
empty whiskey bottles
and spent condoms
mark the memories
of posturing passions
out of meaningless sex
another cum dumpster
another ejaculate receptacle
another whore
sitting with legs open
awaiting the next cock
to stick their gaping cunts
in attempts to fill the void in their souls
unlike the days of old
when my torso was your pillow
and the arms of your glistening body
kept me warmer than these lonesome sheets
jaded to the strange
the new is all the same
they all are just the same
they all are just the same
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
In Between
South of heaven
north of hell
which direction will I dwell
failing in finding what I seek
is advocating apathy
a lost and listless synergy
a tiresome tirade
a hope growing bleak
time rendering my resolve weak
searching through the in between
in dire need of rescuing
to be free from this purgatory
north of hell
which direction will I dwell
failing in finding what I seek
is advocating apathy
a lost and listless synergy
a tiresome tirade
a hope growing bleak
time rendering my resolve weak
searching through the in between
in dire need of rescuing
to be free from this purgatory
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Tearing It Away
Sometimes you just got to tear it away
every thought
every reason
even when it goes against the grain of your being
sometimes you even have to stop breathing
and cease your heartbeat
for those you do such for
sometimes you must deny fate
and destiny
with every inch of resistance
of course
it will feel like you are dying
but such must be done in order to exist
sometimes in order to survive
you must rip it all away
every element of your past
every memory
every driving force
because
you can not live for others
who do not live for you
Friday, November 19, 2010
Double Speak
Since when did speaking with conviction
for your own personal opinion
become taboo?
Since when did eluding the real questions
with avoidance and subject change
become status quo?
Since when did we all become so fearful
of expressing our own thoughts and feelings?
Since when did protective lies
become more acceptable
than the painful truth?
Since when would we rather hurt
over the unsaid
than find relief in speaking our mind?
Since when did ignoring the problem
overcome addressing the solution
Since when did honesty fade into oblivion
and deception become common place?
Dawning a faux pas age where what is right
lies at our fingertips
yet we are unwilling to free our grasp on what is wrong.
While the masses dumbfoundedly wonder
why the meaning escapes them.
for your own personal opinion
become taboo?
Since when did eluding the real questions
with avoidance and subject change
become status quo?
Since when did we all become so fearful
of expressing our own thoughts and feelings?
Since when did protective lies
become more acceptable
than the painful truth?
Since when would we rather hurt
over the unsaid
than find relief in speaking our mind?
Since when did ignoring the problem
overcome addressing the solution
Since when did honesty fade into oblivion
and deception become common place?
Dawning a faux pas age where what is right
lies at our fingertips
yet we are unwilling to free our grasp on what is wrong.
While the masses dumbfoundedly wonder
why the meaning escapes them.
Broken Marionette
I would rather be
a broken marionette
instead of stringing
up with regret
I would rather
make my own moves
than what the puppet master
makes me do
so consider me
a useless toy
just to be free
from all your ploys
Its not the puppet
its who's pulling the strings
so cut me from it
and all which it brings
a broken marionette
instead of stringing
up with regret
I would rather
make my own moves
than what the puppet master
makes me do
so consider me
a useless toy
just to be free
from all your ploys
Its not the puppet
its who's pulling the strings
so cut me from it
and all which it brings
For What Its Worth
I'm not sure if it is worth testing my patience
with all of the chances that have came and went
I'm not sure if its worth the time that I waste
with every adversity I had to face
I am not sure if its worth the frustration
when all that I find is more insinuation
I'm not sure if its worth the words I have spoke
with every feeling that has been provoked
I don't know if its worth the disappointment
submitting myself to this environment
I'm not sure if its worth the uncertainty
left in a state of constant wondering
Yet still I know the reasons why I strive
because it is worth it to still feel alive.
with all of the chances that have came and went
I'm not sure if its worth the time that I waste
with every adversity I had to face
I am not sure if its worth the frustration
when all that I find is more insinuation
I'm not sure if its worth the words I have spoke
with every feeling that has been provoked
I don't know if its worth the disappointment
submitting myself to this environment
I'm not sure if its worth the uncertainty
left in a state of constant wondering
Yet still I know the reasons why I strive
because it is worth it to still feel alive.
The Body is a Temple
I would rather fan the flames
and watch it burn to the ground
than tend to the crumbling foundation
of every hope I have built
and every dream I constructed
weathered by self destruction
and razed by misplaced trust
I will no longer be watered down
by diluted faith
so let it fall to ash
and blow away with the wind
maybe something stronger
will rise from the rubble
of a demolished past.
like the rebirth of a phoenix
and watch it burn to the ground
than tend to the crumbling foundation
of every hope I have built
and every dream I constructed
weathered by self destruction
and razed by misplaced trust
I will no longer be watered down
by diluted faith
so let it fall to ash
and blow away with the wind
maybe something stronger
will rise from the rubble
of a demolished past.
like the rebirth of a phoenix
The Final Straw
It seems to me,
impatience is my biggest flaw
so constantly,
persistence seems to be
the cause of my downfall
away from heart and mind I crawl
to not recall
why Im caught up in these thralls
cant you see?
the scars upon my flesh created from its claws
ignoring
the writing that is on the wall
can I withdraw from it all
before the camels back breaks
from the final straw
impatience is my biggest flaw
so constantly,
persistence seems to be
the cause of my downfall
away from heart and mind I crawl
to not recall
why Im caught up in these thralls
cant you see?
the scars upon my flesh created from its claws
ignoring
the writing that is on the wall
can I withdraw from it all
before the camels back breaks
from the final straw
Carry On
This is for the those burning candles at both ends
those with worn souls in which they seek to mend
This is for those seeking escape from the rain
those seeking shade standing amongst the flame
Carry on
This is for those who are growing world weary
those with tears flowing and feel their time nearing
This is for those of frustration and anger
those contemplating nooses and straight razors
Carry on
This is for those who feel unprepared
those with hearts broken, lonely and scared
This is for those who just want to give up
those with the feeling that they've had enough
Carry on
This is for those amongst the unbelievers
those who have become tiresome dreamers
This is for those blindsided by the truth
those who are screaming upwards to the roofs
Carry on
This is for those who feel they go unheard
those who can not seem to find the right words
This is for those who feel they must succumb
those who await a love that will not come
Carry on
This is for those who will settle for nothing
those tired of lies and continuous bluffing
This is for the flightless carrying broken wings
those inflicted with insidious suffering
Carry on
Carry on
Kick the dust off your feet
for you still may meet
all that which you seek
just a bit further
Down life's rocky winding streets.
those with worn souls in which they seek to mend
This is for those seeking escape from the rain
those seeking shade standing amongst the flame
Carry on
This is for those who are growing world weary
those with tears flowing and feel their time nearing
This is for those of frustration and anger
those contemplating nooses and straight razors
Carry on
This is for those who feel unprepared
those with hearts broken, lonely and scared
This is for those who just want to give up
those with the feeling that they've had enough
Carry on
This is for those amongst the unbelievers
those who have become tiresome dreamers
This is for those blindsided by the truth
those who are screaming upwards to the roofs
Carry on
This is for those who feel they go unheard
those who can not seem to find the right words
This is for those who feel they must succumb
those who await a love that will not come
Carry on
This is for those who will settle for nothing
those tired of lies and continuous bluffing
This is for the flightless carrying broken wings
those inflicted with insidious suffering
Carry on
Carry on
Kick the dust off your feet
for you still may meet
all that which you seek
just a bit further
Down life's rocky winding streets.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Wasting Away
Ive been through all the motions
and wrestled every notion
but some hold no devotion
just disposable emotion
like a teardrop in an ocean
or a wound thats been torn open
it makes me waste away
more and more each day
my hat goes off to you
you really take the cake
for even if its true
Im lead to believe its fake
and wrestled every notion
but some hold no devotion
just disposable emotion
like a teardrop in an ocean
or a wound thats been torn open
it makes me waste away
more and more each day
my hat goes off to you
you really take the cake
for even if its true
Im lead to believe its fake
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