Apathetic Slumber

This season of my discontent
listlessness
irrelevance
overcast and sunless

Their sentences are gibberish
I learned how to not listen
no cares for their acceptance
or how they envision

nothing really matters much
I have become numb to their touch

too weary to fake a smile
or force myself to converse
too tired of being in denial
which only makes it worse

holding my breath for quite awhile
till I'm blue in the face

I don't want to move
I just want to sleep
how am I to soothe
these memories I reap

smoke
drink
eat
sleep
fuck it away

broke
weak
cheap
sheep
stuck in the fray
 
buy
mine
ohh
my
make sure you save

bye
bye
buy
die
and purchase a grave

I know I have been adamant
bullheaded and insubordinate
but have I been too rebellious
and perversely disobedient ?

I thought that I was standing tall
but learned pride comes before the fall

I'm too proud to give-out
too stubborn to give-in
I will not follow sorrow
I fight until the bitter end

Everybody has two sides
but only one shows at a time

Fighting a world of depression
and I intend to win
I trust my own discretion
these eyes will shine again

Its time to awaken
from this apathetic slumber
Where we are dreamily mistaken
I'll get up, before go under